Do you believe in souls? Afterlife? Re-birth? I do!! Nah, don't think twice, I'm not going to talk about death and what it has in store after you've left your body. I was just starting off with my thoughts and how they leave my mind every once in a while leaving me stranded in the midst of nowhere!! I started blogging to pen down my thoughts and in the last year that flew, turns out I had a million thoughts but I just couldn't get myself to pen it down. I've gained the courage to do so now and so after a year's break, I'm back to speaking my thoughts.
A lot has changed over the last one year - new experiences, new friends, new relationships, new happiness, new pain and so much more. I learned more than I ever did during my entire life. As per the popular phase "Single and Young", I'm living the dream but how far do people actually dream of this? Often, I'm left asking myself if I'm living the life I want to and most times, the very convincing part of my brain says "Yes, absolutely. You're happy, you have an amazing life, what's there to complain" but the sensible part of my brain knows that that's just an illusion,a way of surpassing the doubts that arise in my mind.If you're wondering what I'm getting at, you're on the right track because I'm left with the same thought over and over again.
Our society binds us by cliche. A girl who is well educated and who's part of a decent middle class family, is meant to be married, settled and bearing children by the time she's 25. why? Because that's the ideal age for everything. Some of the very logical reasons I've heard for this cliche "You can have children while you're still young and you'll grow with them. Helps with reducing the generation gap", "The society will not talk about our family", "It'll be difficult to find a boy once you're over 25 years old".I'm not one of those girls who is going to fight this cliche and try and change the way parents think but I'm one of those thousands of girls who wished she'd find a way to break free from this cliched society and to make a life of her own choice without having to hurt her family. I think every girl deserves to know what it feels like to be loved and wanted before she gets into a life long commitment with a stranger with the promise of keeping a family together. I've seen this over generations where women go through a series of compromises because they're bound by marriage. Starting from my mother to my cousins to even my grand mothers, I've seen this happen. Sure, they're all happy and content with the life they're living but are they really??? How many of these women can touch their heart and say they've gotten everything they ever deserved and that they're truly happy?? Maybe none. That's the irony. You may seem completely happy outside but women possess the incredible talent of hiding their tears behind the joy they see in people they love.
If you're not in my generation, you're probably frowning at my post. Well, I won't blame you, it's how the society around us is. I don't hate our society, I just wished it were a little more liberal. Liberal in the sense that nobody should verbally torture a girl's parents if the girl decides to live life on her terms. I might sound rebellious and harsh with my thoughts but if you were in my shoes, you'd understand. I "Was" one of those girls who always dreamt of marriage and a family and the responsibility that came with it. My parents had an arranged marriage and I see how happy they are. I believed it worked. But, there is a breaking point to every thought you have. There is a limit to your belief and patience. I still believe that there will be magic and that there will be a man who can stand by me for the rest of my life, but I want to be given the choice to wait for that magic to happen.
I'm not a pessimist. I never was. I believed in fairy tales. I believed in the little joys life brings with it. I believed everything good will happen to those who believe it will. You know the one thing that can change your belief in everything, it's the long painful process of finding a suitable groom. Trust me, I'm not ranting, this is fact. I don't know how many of you will agree but I know there will be women who will. You'll feel the pain if you've had to go through the grueling process of having to look through a matrimonial profile and decide in a second if the guy will be suitable to share the rest of your life with. Oh and mind you, this was fun three years ago when my parents first started this groom searching process. I'd participate will all excitement to read through all the profiles and laugh at some of the horrible things people expect from the girl - I mean literally horrible!!! Leave alone expectations, the way men describe themselves are even more hilarious. Slowly, this routine went on and on and nothing would proceed because either I wouldn't like the guy or the guy wouldn't like me or our horoscopes wouldn't match or worst of all, the guy will be a complete creep! All this was okay, it's just part of the process and I was okay with it. The fun part ended when everybody started looking at me as being the reason for the marriage not happening. Oh hey guys, this is harsh reality, don't get offended - Some of the basic qualifications to find a suitable groom is for the girl to be thin, pretty and fair. Education, character and similar values hold no place anymore.Back in the years when education and liberal thoughts were a rarirty, women were looked upon. All that mattered was her beauty and her ability to handle the kitchen. Now, so many years into this modern free world and yet, the institution called marriage hasn't changed. Beauty still matters and so does the fact that the girl should be shorter than the guy and should be earning lesser than him.
I dream of that day when there will be a change, when people will no longer look at a one page profile and a few photos and decide if their life is worth spending with. I dream of the day when parents stop asking their daughters to become slim and besutiful so they can upload a nice picture onto the matrimonial profile. I dream of the day when the guy who calls you to take things forward is not a creep. I dream of the day when the society no longer cares if you're 30 and not married. I dream of the day when there will be no judgement on your character. I dream of the day when the power of choice is mine!!!
Dream On!!!!!
-Sharanya
A lot has changed over the last one year - new experiences, new friends, new relationships, new happiness, new pain and so much more. I learned more than I ever did during my entire life. As per the popular phase "Single and Young", I'm living the dream but how far do people actually dream of this? Often, I'm left asking myself if I'm living the life I want to and most times, the very convincing part of my brain says "Yes, absolutely. You're happy, you have an amazing life, what's there to complain" but the sensible part of my brain knows that that's just an illusion,a way of surpassing the doubts that arise in my mind.If you're wondering what I'm getting at, you're on the right track because I'm left with the same thought over and over again.
Our society binds us by cliche. A girl who is well educated and who's part of a decent middle class family, is meant to be married, settled and bearing children by the time she's 25. why? Because that's the ideal age for everything. Some of the very logical reasons I've heard for this cliche "You can have children while you're still young and you'll grow with them. Helps with reducing the generation gap", "The society will not talk about our family", "It'll be difficult to find a boy once you're over 25 years old".I'm not one of those girls who is going to fight this cliche and try and change the way parents think but I'm one of those thousands of girls who wished she'd find a way to break free from this cliched society and to make a life of her own choice without having to hurt her family. I think every girl deserves to know what it feels like to be loved and wanted before she gets into a life long commitment with a stranger with the promise of keeping a family together. I've seen this over generations where women go through a series of compromises because they're bound by marriage. Starting from my mother to my cousins to even my grand mothers, I've seen this happen. Sure, they're all happy and content with the life they're living but are they really??? How many of these women can touch their heart and say they've gotten everything they ever deserved and that they're truly happy?? Maybe none. That's the irony. You may seem completely happy outside but women possess the incredible talent of hiding their tears behind the joy they see in people they love.
If you're not in my generation, you're probably frowning at my post. Well, I won't blame you, it's how the society around us is. I don't hate our society, I just wished it were a little more liberal. Liberal in the sense that nobody should verbally torture a girl's parents if the girl decides to live life on her terms. I might sound rebellious and harsh with my thoughts but if you were in my shoes, you'd understand. I "Was" one of those girls who always dreamt of marriage and a family and the responsibility that came with it. My parents had an arranged marriage and I see how happy they are. I believed it worked. But, there is a breaking point to every thought you have. There is a limit to your belief and patience. I still believe that there will be magic and that there will be a man who can stand by me for the rest of my life, but I want to be given the choice to wait for that magic to happen.
I'm not a pessimist. I never was. I believed in fairy tales. I believed in the little joys life brings with it. I believed everything good will happen to those who believe it will. You know the one thing that can change your belief in everything, it's the long painful process of finding a suitable groom. Trust me, I'm not ranting, this is fact. I don't know how many of you will agree but I know there will be women who will. You'll feel the pain if you've had to go through the grueling process of having to look through a matrimonial profile and decide in a second if the guy will be suitable to share the rest of your life with. Oh and mind you, this was fun three years ago when my parents first started this groom searching process. I'd participate will all excitement to read through all the profiles and laugh at some of the horrible things people expect from the girl - I mean literally horrible!!! Leave alone expectations, the way men describe themselves are even more hilarious. Slowly, this routine went on and on and nothing would proceed because either I wouldn't like the guy or the guy wouldn't like me or our horoscopes wouldn't match or worst of all, the guy will be a complete creep! All this was okay, it's just part of the process and I was okay with it. The fun part ended when everybody started looking at me as being the reason for the marriage not happening. Oh hey guys, this is harsh reality, don't get offended - Some of the basic qualifications to find a suitable groom is for the girl to be thin, pretty and fair. Education, character and similar values hold no place anymore.Back in the years when education and liberal thoughts were a rarirty, women were looked upon. All that mattered was her beauty and her ability to handle the kitchen. Now, so many years into this modern free world and yet, the institution called marriage hasn't changed. Beauty still matters and so does the fact that the girl should be shorter than the guy and should be earning lesser than him.
I dream of that day when there will be a change, when people will no longer look at a one page profile and a few photos and decide if their life is worth spending with. I dream of the day when parents stop asking their daughters to become slim and besutiful so they can upload a nice picture onto the matrimonial profile. I dream of the day when the guy who calls you to take things forward is not a creep. I dream of the day when the society no longer cares if you're 30 and not married. I dream of the day when there will be no judgement on your character. I dream of the day when the power of choice is mine!!!
Dream On!!!!!
-Sharanya
2 comments:
Fabulous Sharanya! A girl needs to choose her better half of her own rather getting committed to a stranger.
Prasanna.. thank you so much for reading and commenting :D And yes, I believe it's every girl's choice to make.
Post a Comment